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| Is your product from Mr. Bogus? (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
In 2004 or so there was a flood of so-called "foot bottom patches" allegedly from Japan. The claim was you apply these to the bottom of your feet at night, and when you wake up in the morning, you'll find the patches having turned dark, and that supposedly had leeched "toxins" from your body, thus proving it works.
What utter bogosity. The patches actually turn dark to ANY moisture. Just drip a few drops of distilled water will make them turn dark. Tests of pads turned dark with distilled water vs. pads turned dark under actual feet, as well as unused pads were tested, absolutely NO difference in metal content was found.
The claims were so bogus, FTC sued the makers of Kinoki pads and shut them down. They claim they didn't really make money and thus can't pay the FTC fines.
And now the patches are back, with even MORE bogus claims than EVER.
LifeWave claims to have patches for everything from weight loss to pain relief to energy enhancement to improve sleep.
How do they work? According to themselves? These are quoted DIRECTLY from their own FAQ:
But wait, how does it REALLY work?
The LifeWave Technology was born out of 3 years of intense research by David into the concept of being able to naturally increase energy and stamina through elevation of fat burning utilizing wireless communication to the human body.Wait, so "patent pending blend including amino acids, water, stablized oxygen, and natural organic compounds" was able to generate "wireless communications" which somehow affects human accupressure points?
Yet their research paper says that's EXACTLY what it does...
When any of the LifeWave patches are placed on the skin,What utter bollocks!
they safely transmit specific wavelengths of light to optimize
certain biological functions, such as pain control. These devices
have photonic and electrical properties. They are essentially a
passive, wireless nanotechnology that relies on non-toxic
organic crystals. The crystals absorb infrared frequencies (body
heat) in the range of 1000 - 20,000 nanometers and emit light in
the infrared and visible spectra back into the body
First thing, folks... There is no SCIENTIFIC basis on accupuncture / accupressure. Accupuncture is NOT a Chinese word! It's invented by a FRENCH guy George Soulié de Morant, who also coined the term qi and meridian, in the beginning of 20th century!
And the claim that accupressure is 5000 years old? Bollocks. The FIRST mention of accupuncture in Chinese literature was dated back only 2000 years, maybe 2200 or so, but it's more likely no more than 1500 years old.
Lifewave head "Schmidt" claimed 1.8 billion in the world relies on accupuncture? Bollocks. There's only 1.34 billion people in China, and most of "traditional Chinese medicine" is HERBAL! In fact, for about 20+ years accupuncture was BANNED as "old supersitution" by Chairman Mao Tse Tung!
And how the **** does amino acids, water, stablized oxygen, and natural organic compounds" was able to generate "wireless communications" any way, much less able to influence accupressure points? Did he just create a chemical "power plant" of some sort where's the transmitter? (And the irony... LifeWave just started selling "Matrix 2" EM shields for your cellphones, when they claim their products *use* wireless communications to influence your body!)
So what proof do they have that this works? Three primary sources: holistic medicine studies (none of which have been replicated or peer-reviewed), celebrity athlete endorsements, some "thermal photos" proving the patches have somehow lowered temperature of the body after application.
Their most recent study, published in a Korean Journal, claimed that out of 30 some people who managed to finish the 5 day test, most reported some reduction in pain. However, there was NO placebo patch applied, with each individual acting as his or her control, and self-reporting, and thus, this test is mostly useless.
As for celebrity athlete endorsements, with plenty of photos of Olympic and professional athletes sporting what appears to be their patches... What's really interesting is they have a letter from WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) proving their product does absolutely NOTHING, and thus is allowed to be used by professional athletes.
And finally, about those "thermal photos"? This one was found all over the web, supposedly "proving" that the patch had "cooled the body".
Pay particular attention to the two photos on the right... The top one, the "red" is set to 23.8 C, right? Now look at the bottom one. What's it set to? 28.8 C. Yep, they "moved the goal post" by redefining red to be a higher temperature, and thus, the entire picture LOOKS cooler. Also note that the body is a bit further away, and presumably the body had been at rest for a few minutes "for the patch to take effect", further cooling down the body.
I can't explain the two on the left. Top picture was set to 24, the bottom was set to 23.7, and camera was moved slightly back. I suspect the pictures were taken minutes apart after sweat had been mopped off, but the fact is without timestamp and "single-take video" the pictures only create an IMPRESSION of something, not actual something.
What utter bollocks.
The thermal graphs were labelled "Mullens Joe 051305 1355" which I assume to mean 2005 May 13th, 1:55 PM. I can't find a Joe Mullens (there's a famous hockey player Joe Mullen). As they are using C instead of F, this appears to be done somewhere NOT in the US or the UK (who'd be using F).
If the REAL Joe Mullens care to step up and explain these pictures, I'd love to hear it. For now, I'd say the origin of these pictures are... questionable
So what are we left with?
- Pseudo-science explanations (crystals in patches that absorbs body heat and sends light back somehow triggering accupressure points)
- Endorsements that are not (a letter from WADA / USADA stating your product does NOTHING and thus is NOT banned is NOT an endorsement)
- False citation of facts that plays to stereotype (accupuncture is NOT 5000 years old and NOT all of China use accupuncture)
- False thermal graph claiming to be "proof" of their product in action (mis-labelled and false interpretation through false color calibration)
